Woah. It's really been eons since I've blogged. I felt as if my blog was a book, I would find cobwebs and thick dust on top of it hahha!
But still, I must say I miss writing. For the more private ones, what I usually do to rant and leash out my frustrations/emotions are all in my handwritten diary, like in the early years of this Planet Earth. I've always loved literature and words, I have no idea why either. It's just me I guess.
Sidenote: I'm supposed to be sleeping because I'm heading to Batam early in the morning later on! Shit.
All nonsense aside, I will give a warm greeting you any readers who are still out there! And to my most beloved online diary too. She never fails to be there for me. (Duh?)
HELLO YOU ALL! ♥♥♥
Hope you guys have been doing well, like I did!
Okay, back to business.
Blissful. I really am. I thank God for all He had done for me, for all the trials, the ups-and-downs he had planned to let me go through to make me a better person. I can't thank Him enough. And I'm glad I took the step of faith and trusted his master plans that I will never know, believing his plans for me are perfect even when things are in the contrast. Because if not, I would still have been wallowing in my own self-induced sorrow and probably am still weeping almost every other night.
It had been approximately 9-10 months now, or is it? Within less than a year, things have changed so much. One moment I thought I would never get over the heartbreak and the other, I am so much more happier. It's like the saying,
"Don't worry if you thought you'll never get over it, cause you also thought it would last forever."
Ahhh well. Each time I visit my blog which occurs once in a blue moon, I feel that I've grown up a little more. Because based on my writings, my mind brings me back to the exact same time where I once had been. And I really do feel I've matured over these past few months/years.
The reason being, me being placed in a whole new environment with different people. I still do believe that age is but a number. But people generally associate age with maturity because of the time they have to experience different things which will make them understand this world a little more compared to a younger person who is still not exposed to certain things.
Then again, if you are stuck in that same environment, your thinking will most likely still be relatively the same. Cause that is what happened to me. For almost a year, I've been stuck. No new friends, not exposed to new environment. So I'm facing the same people, the same things.
It was the second time I have ever let my heart out to experiment love. I believed and trusted in that with all of my heart, all out 100%. It's like a show hand at a gambling table. I guess this was what God had planned exactly for me, to taste the hurt so that I would be wiser the next time round. Cause it definitely didn't work out.
I really, really loved, and I loved hard, I know. Despite having all odds against me and knowing I deserve better, I managed to convinced my mind it would be worth it. I thought he was the best, ever. I read my past posts and thought how foolish I was. I thought I felt like a Princess, but no. I thought love was supposed to be like this, but no. I thought it was right for girls to be treated like this, but no.
I was only exposed to that, or rather, him, you see. I still am grateful that we broke up, though. Cause if not, I will never get to meet Wayne.
God really wows people. Till now, I am still surprised at how God arranged our meeting. Of all 5 million people in Singapore, we met. I can't get over the fact that it is so cool!!!
But anyway, being with Wayne has exposed me to another new dimension. It's like a whole new world with him. He expanded my horizon and taught me many things. As childlike as I was (and still am just abit better), I'm glad he didn't leave me. Wayne says "love is blind" cause I knew I'm totally not his type at all, well, besides the height factor.
He nurtured me and I grew better as a person. He wants the best for me and is constantly reminding and teaching me so that I will not get bullied in this cruel society where greed and evil rampages throughout the adult working world.
I can feel it, feel his love, it is genuine. And not like the others that I've experienced. I knew this was completely different and serious. He literally turned my life upside down and changed it. I've never felt more comfortable with him. You know they say when true love comes, you will know? HELL YEAH, now I know.
I'm so contented with my life currently. I'm really, really glad I've had his shoulder to rely on, and that he's got my back that kinda thing.
However, I'm still not convinced to believe naively and foolishly like I did previously. Cause man will fail. I know I will, too. So I'm just enjoying his company and cherishing the times we've spent together. No matter the outcome, I know this is going to be worth it.
To my readers, here's a quote for you.
"Find someone who will change your life and not just your relationship status."
You don't want all the drama, trust me. I used to have the mindset whereby you need to get into a lousy relationship to know you are in a right one. That is true, but then again, why get into a lousy relationship and suffer emotionally when you can just find the better one who will treat you better? Yes, though it might not work out as only time will tell, but at least it was not a lousy one. At least you would not have suffered, and the relationship would be worth the youth spent.
I've also read this once and will never forget it.
"Don't get into a relationship unless you intend to make it your last."
That will always be what I believe in.
Ahhh, I feel so much better after having spilled out my inner heartfelt words!
And it's time for bed. Wanted to watch the movie I just downloaded on Funshion but damn, I know I've got to blog this out. Can't procrastinate any further. Hahah.
Before I bid farewell and God knows when I'll blog the next time round, just wanna thank God again, for Wayne. :)
Really love him so much. Must be all the oxytocin we created. Hahah!
This was taken on our first date, while returning home from Vivo. I remembered he drove me home so that I could change, and then we would go Mt.Faber. Really pretty sight up there!
Ahhhh, those times. Reminiscing about the good memories sure brings warmth to the heart and soul.
Goodnight all. ♥
xoxo
