I touched my bible back after quite some time of throwing it in one corner last night. I don't know why, just this sudden and random action. It was well kept though, in that box it came from, and it's condition was good still. So I read Proverbs 18 last night and I'll read 19 later, because today's the 19th and Proverbs had 31 Chapters, just nice! A month has 31 days, so one chapter a day was what my brother trained me when I was younger.
So I chanced upon verse 9 and it reads,
"A lazy person is as good as someone who destroys things."
Lol... Yeah, that's me. It's true. I was so lazy to the extent I destroyed practically everything. My life, my education and my relationship... :( So I kinda deserved this because you reap what you sow. There's a consequence to everything so I guess being lazy burnt me reeeaaaal good.
Another thing I'd like to share is, God really works in mysterious ways! The first moment I studied, I chose Topic 9. I don't know why but anyway, the title of that Topic was, "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?"
And right there, this quote states,
"Just because something happened in the past does not mean it will continue to happen in the future."
This really struck me.
One example would be, the sun rise from the East every morning. Will it still rise in the East the next morning? Or, I eat supper every night. Will I eat supper the next night?
If you're backing up your reason with frequency or that it has "always been this way, so it will be!", how confirmed are you? Do you dare bet I will eat supper the next night? So by judging the final outcome with generalizing, your reasoning is not strong enough. Anyway, I should stop babbling and get straight to the point!
So I thought about it for awhile and reflected it back into my life. That is so true. WHY DIDN'T I GO SCHOOL, DAMN! Then I won't be depressed for such a long pathetic time. Because this tells me that NOTHING stays the same. What if one fine random day, a comet came and collide the Earth, we managed to survive this crash and the Earth changed position? The sun won't be rising from the East already, will it?
Or that, I felt fat and didn't want to continue this habit of eating supper every single night anymore, though I had been eating supper for years?! (This is just an example FYI) Anything and everything can change anytime. NOTHING stays the same. Even all living things will come to decompose over time, shoes get spoilt by friction over time, metals rust over time, babies are born over time and soon enough, Planet Earth will be over-populated over time!
And in conclusion, it all brings back to the point where nothing stays the same. There is no forever. Really, there is no forever and always. It's sad to know that our loved ones who promised us that they will be by your side forever no matter what bull happens, they are gonna love you with all their heart forever, they won't leave you forever? You're just gonna get an empty promise.
The word, "love" is so overused these days it loses it's meaning already. It's unfortunate. The "love" that many of us teenagers experienced are just short-termed passionate feelings for the other party. Yeah, maybe during one point you can really die for them, but that's really just short-termed. Many a times we've seen, heard or even experienced break-ups. "They together 2 years 4 months already leh! So long, then break up. Sad siah." Seriously?
Though I've not been in a relationship for more than a year before, I seriously don't think that amount of time is long at all. To think back now, 5 years has just flew by with a blink of an eye. I can still remember my Secondary 1 days, how nerdy I was with my skirt covering my knee. YES, it was below my knee like old grandmother like that. Generation getting worse each year.. I'm glad I'm a 90's kid!
Linking back to the main point, what I'm trying to convey is not don't get into a relationship. Just, don't trust and believe like how I stupidly thought that your partner will be your spouse when you grow up. It's normal to fantasize about marrying him/her, have some kids and blah blah. Just have the mindset that nothing stays the same and there is no forever. If not, you'll end up getting hurt more than you can ever imagine... I'm speaking from experience, it's really true. It's really bad, the feeling.. it's totally indescribable.
The only thing that stays the same and lasts forever, is God. That's what I fully believe and trust no matter how low or hard life runs me over. Thanks for picking me up when I fall. :)
Sigh, I'm scared and scarred. I'm thanking God for this experience and lesson learnt, but I'm kinda regretting it as well. If nothing ever happened, I would still be the happy-go-lucky, naive, idiotic, frog-in-the-well me. So what? Nobody cares how miserable you are, so you might as well be happy. Life still goes on.
I've learnt that EVERY SINGLE DAY is a blessing. As long as you have air in your lungs, you can breathe, you are alive. So, cherish everyday. Cherish your loved ones now, cause I can't even if I want to...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm... strong....? Yeah, trying to be. Coping better but still, yeah. Seriously, what else can I be other than being strong for myself, right? I don't wanna be weak and live life like a few weeks back. That sucks. So, AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Okay abrupt ending. Bye.
P.S: Don't ever place 100% trust in human, except yourself. You are warned.
