Frankly, I may look cheerful and happy in school, play and fool around with my classmates, hang out with friends. Yeah, they bring my joy and distract me away from thinking about you. I was sincerely enjoying myself when I'm with them. But I know that I won't be distracted 24/7. Everywhere, every place I go no matter my mood, reminds me of you. We've stepped foot together to so many places, even RP. But when the moonlight floods in my room, when I'm left alone with my mind, I just can't stop crying...
Even up till now, I don't know the reason why we broke up. You said you didn't want to risk any further. Really? Is that it? I believe there're still strong feelings between us right now. But I know sometimes, love alone just isn't enough.
We said we'll do stuffs together. There's still so many things we have yet to do. You tore my walls down. I welcomed you into my life. And then now, what am I supposed to do? I am so freaking used to being with you, being protected and knowing someone will be there for me when I'm down. Poof, all gone. This is eating and killing me inside, slowly.
You know me inside out. You know I'm not strong at all. You saw how weak and fragile I was. But I just gotta suck it up and learn to be strong again.
I don't even know why I am writing this post. I just wanna rant and say everything I've hidden inside
because it feels so terrible.
But anyways, I'm glad that you're interacting more to your classmates already. :)
Hopefully, time will heal. And this time, I'm building up my walls again, just higher this time round. I can get over the first heart break, I know I can get this over too. Though the hurt is more intensifying than my first, I'm sure I'll be fine.
I don't know why you quit. I don't know why you don't wanna carry on fighting.
It's time to move on. And I'll make sure I adapt to it real quick. Another chapter has been written. I will not turn back the pages. I will flip them. I will continue trying to stay happy and positive, and hope you are too.
However though, I wanna say sorry for tiring you out. And thanking you for teaching me so many things. I'm sure you are sensible because you always know what to do whenever things go wrong, unlike me. No worries, I will protect myself and heed the advice you gave me. Those last words we spoke, I kept them all in mind.
This is the last time I'll mention you in this blog. There's so so soooo much more things to say, but I just can't find the right words.
I really really miss you so much, heabaobao.
