Change

Hey readers, if there is still any?

This would not be just another entry whereby I would post a music video here. Heeheehee.

Anyway, life is a bitch, ain't it? Your comment you post struck me hard. It made me looked at what I've been doing recently. And what I see is definitely not good. Though my character and personality had stayed the same, my behavior took a drastic 180 degree change. I became someone I detest. It disgusted me. So this entry that I post today, is gonna be a reminder to myself. And I don't know how long it will take me to revert back but hopefully not long since I did not start early. Luckily there's still a chance, luckily I woke up.

So here's a list of things I wanna get rid, cut down and improve on!

• Change my mindset.
• Alter my attitude.
• Discipline myself.
• Set my priorities right.
• Be back the no-lying Jiaxin.
• Stop buying huhu.
• Read the bible more often.
• Most importantly, correct my tardiness.

My tardiness is the worst among all. It can never get more worse. I really should start discipline-ing myself. However, I'm giving myself a month's time to slowly change all these things and need encouragement. I'm gonna encourage myself, I must do this. I must.

I prayed to God. I know he will be happy to see this change and he is definitely going to encourage me as well. :) Thanking God He is ALWAYS there for me, especially at my lowest when nobody is.

"Broken things can become blessed things if you let God do the mending."

I've tried mending it my way but it doesn't work out. No matter how hard I try, it fails and that leads me astray. So I'm gonna start allowing God to mend it His way.

I believe God made everything happened for a reason. So I believe this fall that I had was destined. It was planned so that I could be stronger. So that I would not be so foolish the next time round. Though God allowed something so precious to me to be taken away, that taught me a lesson. Every lesson He taught allowed me to gain experience. I learnt to cherish people, not to take loved ones for granted, for they might be gone no matter how big, small, important or foolish the reasons are.

I now know relationships are dangerous. They are not child's play. If not handled properly, it could be disastrous. Cause that's what happened. I allowed my life to drift by aimlessly. I faltered. I did foolish things. I made people worried about me. I changed.

Pain really does changes people.

But I do not want to live my life like this any further. I must be strong for not just my family and friends, but for me, myself as well. >:) And I hope this positive thinking is not temporary! Cause everytime I slipped back to being all negative and emo again :/ HOWEVER, I'm sure God will assist me this time round! ^^

Lastly, I wanna post this music video! The song is really really reaallllyyy nice okay.

Basically, Les Miserables is a musical that's why you see this "Act 2" and some "silent narration" going on. But this song really suits the situation I am in now hahahaaaa. I can relate to it so much! Love this song :D

I like the part when the aggressive music stops and changed to something soothing and she goes, "On my own~" HEEHEE. Well, hope you guys enjoyed the song as much as I did? This being said, farewell my readers.

Takecare, xx ♥

Updated :

It might just be my guess but I don't think so. Wondering how you can care, miss and talk about me but yet flirt with her at the same time. Thanks for making me detest you, I'll get over you easier this way. I've been thinking, should I regret or thank this experience? I guess both. Nonetheless, it's all God's plan. So I have to learn to appreciate it. Learn life the hard way.